My Roman Empire

Some things that lately, I can't stop thinking about.

I initially wanted to include these in last week’s post, but they just didn’t fit, so I thought I’d do a bonus post instead.

1. The Entire Lore of Ethel Cain

   

   An artist like Ethel Cain only comes around every 10 years or so, and the last time it happened was with Lana Del Rey.

   
   I remember how I first fell into my Lana obsession; admittedly, I tried to resist her talent and allure. I thought Video Games was corny and joined the hate train for about 2 weeks. That was until I stopped being a hater-ass-bitch and drank the Kool-Aid; my life drastically improved immediately—it’s right what they say about love and hate having a fine line between them.
   
   See, Lana is a storyteller, a world builder, a vibe checker and an aesthetic genius. She knows that it only takes one lyric to bring young women across the world, to their knees.
   
   Ethel Cain, real name Hayden Anhedönia, is the only other artist who made me feel this way about music and discovering her brings back the feeling of hearing Lana for the first time. Anhedönia is also an incredibly talented storyteller, world-builder and aesthetic genius who exists on a different side of the same coin as Lana.
   
   Her debut LP, Preachers Daughter, is a concept album about the fictional character Ethel Cain, who died in 1991. The album follows Cain from an idealised and strict religious upbringing in Alabama, as she comes to terms with sexual abuse, losing her one true love, running away and becoming involved with a seemingly guy called Isaiah, who draws her in with promises of a new life and love. He then pimps her out, kills her and cannibalises her. This is Southern Gothic at its most extreme.

   

   
   The music is not only layered but sonically beautiful, ethereal and all-consuming. Anhedönia not only self-produced the album but drew from autobiographical parallels; she grew up in a self-described Southern Baptist “cult” in Florida’s panhandle, and it deals with topics like religious trauma and femininity. Once you have joined the cult of Ethel Cain’s dirty south, leaving is impossible.

   
   Hayden has said this project will consist of three albums, three books and a feature-length movie, all following the matriarchal lineage of the Cain family. You don’t want to be late to the party, get into Preachers Daughter now.

2. Pigeons used to be domestic animals and we abandoned them.

   

   
   This one is a little random, but seeing as I live in a city I am forced to be reminded of this every day when I see a poor, downtrodden pigeon. Did you know that humans domesticated pigeons and then abandoned them when we no longer needed them? Well now you do and it’s time for the pigeon’s villan era to be well and truly over.

   
   The rock pigeon is the worlds oldest domesticated animal, hieroglyphas show us using pigeons as far back as 10,000 years ago. We relied on pigeons for centuries for communication-they were a humans companion. But, as communication became simpler with the postal service and later on telephones, we abandoned our feathered friends and now refer to them as the “rats of birds”… it breaks my heart!

   
   I have always liked pigeons but never knew why until my friend Tea once said (she is also a pigeon lover) that Pigeons are the kind of birds that if they were humans, would be found at a dive bar. They’re the friendly biker who picks up on the creepy undertones of the dude desperately trying to buy you a drink—hell, they’re Lana del Rey coded!
   
   A while back, TikTok kept showing me videos about a woman who took in a pigeon, it became her pet, and it was affectionate and loving and seemed relieved to be off the cold bitter streets, picking through our rubbish.

   So please be nice to pigeons! They are missing legs and shabby looking. because we trained them to be dependant on us and left them to fend for themselves on the streets when they were no longer needed.

   
   

3. Donna Tartt

   

   
   I wish I could say I have been a fan of Donna Tartt for years, but alas, I have not—I’m a total newbie! She is the author I feel I have known all my life.

   I only read The Secret History this February, eating the first 400 pages alive on a a flight from Dublin to New York for my best friends birthday. The book had been on my kindle a while, and sometimes if I know I'll really love a novel, I hoard it (please tell me someone else does this?). I’m not sure what that says about me psychologically… maybe I like to deny myself of pleasure until I feel worthy or, I’m just intimidated by books over 400 pages. All I know is I’m currently doing this with 4 other novels, one of them being Tartt’s 2014 novel The Goldfinch.
   

   I was enamoured by The Secret History; it has lived with me ever since and is one of those stories that has been burned into my psyche and informs a little bit of my personality now. Just a few months ago, I decided to learn more about Tartt herself. I has heard the trending sounds on TikTok of her stunning Mississippi drawl, reading narrator Richard Papen’s first impression of Francis. I had also seen pictures of her dressed in her signature boyish suit with her blunt, dark bob, but I knew little about her. 

   

   @ridd.ikulusthey’re so messy I love it | #thesecrethistory #richardpapen #francisabernathy #edit

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   That was when I was recommended the podcast One Upon A Time At Bennington College-that details the complicated and dramatic years of Tartt’s college years, along with her classmates Bret Easton Ellis and Jonathan Lethem. The podcast is packed with gossip but unsurprisingly has no interviews with Donna Tartt, who is incredibly private and only re-emerges every 10 years when she has finished another mammoth of a novel.

   It gives such a delicious insight into what made Donna the writer she is now, including the tea on the real life Bennington College students that The Secret History is based on, and without giving it all away, the story is so juicy I couldn’t believe it.
   

4. Is Gossiping Ethically Sound?

   
   And now, we arrive at the questions that keep me up at night.

   

   
   I have long struggled with my thoughts around gossiping, shit talking and the rumour mill. The overarching narrative online is that gossiping = bad and low vibration. That doing so makes your life worseand means you won't be liked.

   
   However, the reality seems to be very different. I have never, in my grown adult life, met another woman who does not engage in gossiping to some extent. I have also met almost equal amounts of men that love to gossip, the main difference is that women are simply better at it. We pick up on minor details that the male brain misses biologically.
   

   

   @satlherayssalike are you so fr rn

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   I listed shit talking and the rumour mill as kinda of gossiping when they’re more like cousins or subdivisions of gossiping. These are the kinds that can get you in trouble and usually make you feel bad afterwards. When it comes to this specific brand of gossiping, I think it’s best practice to limit this to rare occasions and only to trusted sources who know that the nasty things you may say in these moments, are not a true reflection on your character.

   
   I don’t think all areas of gossiping are necessarily evil or bad, I once read that, historically, women would gossip to keep safe. Swapping stories of the local village gossip may have kept us informed of possible dangers. We also only able to “gossip” for fleeting moments while huddled around the communal wash-houses since women’s days were so jam-packed with housekeeping and child rearing. Could the importance of swapping these stories be ingrained in our psyche as a means of self-preservation?

   
   I see celebrity gossip also being critiqued, though there can be a line crossed and toxic ways to consume this specific genre, I think there is a dark side to human nature that enjoys seeing knowing the rich and famous have it bad, too. Plus, actors and actresses have been dehumanised to an extent by their jobs, I am not saying they deserve this or the horrific treatment by the paparazzi, but I think this is how we justify enjoying hearing about their affairs, addictions and unfortunate behaviour. It sometimes feels just like another movie role.

   
   Deep down I think a lot of the critique of gossip is rooted in misogyny. I spoke in my last piece about the Roman Empire trend and how in general, women tend to be more drawn to social history, interpersonal relationships and family dynamics; it just happens to be a way that many of us make sense of the world. People goof on men for thinking of the Roman Empire all the time, but ultimately it’s seen as academic and profound, whereas if women enjoy speaking about their ex bff its seen as petty and childish.

   
   Obviously there should be boundaries when it comes to gossiping, it shouldn’t take up more than around 25% of your time with friends and family. Likewise, if a friendship is only based on gossiping about other people is likely to be toxic. It’s all about acknowledging whether the gossiping made you feel better because you got something off your chest to a close friend, or because you needed to feel better than someone else.

   
   I could go on about this for page more and maybe it deserves it’s own piece in the future, but I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments.

   Jenny x